If you always do what you’re doing – You’ll just do what you do.

Think about that.
Say it out loud. When it settles into your heart, text it to that friend or person you know who is repeating the same patterns in life over and over, struggling with their finances (again) or facing difficulty in a relationship. (Again) When you do what you’re doing. You just do what you do.

When I coach a homeless man under a bridge, or a CEO in a high rise, this same process applies. Start. Stop. It is not enough just to set a goal, visualize it, and start.  You’ve got to start one thing and stop another. Make space for the new thing.

When you do the same thing, each day, each month and each year, you get the same thing.

Life may look different, because you have a different job, a different mate, and a different city, house, and dog but inside your thought patterns, habits and responses, are the same. So your outcomes are the same.

Decades later its same movie, different day. A relationship ends, again. A job ends, again. You have always wanted to start your dream business but it remains just a dream as you spend your days at work at something else.

You need a shift.

Not just a move, but a complete shift in thinking, and also action. Changing your mind isn’t enough.

This concept also applies (and is critical) if you’re already extremely ridiculously successful and just want to pursue a new business or life idea.

This thought came to me recently as I realized in order to build a new business idea out to reality, that I’d have to start and stop. I’d have to interrupt my life pattern.


Start something, and stop something else. I calculated the hours in my day. I had a book on the New York Times Bestseller List, had been called by Discovery Channel to film a segment on a different book, and was traveling, adventuring, and spending lots of time with my family. Life was perfect. But, I had an exciting new business idea and hadn’t spent time on it. I realized that if I want to execute it, I’d have to start/stop.  I’d have to start focusing thought on it at the hours in the day usually reserved for sleep. I would have to start focusing, and create margin time to do it. So I blocked three extra hours a night for it. Set them aside.

Then, I’d have to stop doing things that detracted from that goal. I’d have to stop checking email, Facebook, and anything else that ate up valuable minutes.

I’d have to interrupt my life pattern. It’s the same way when a client is about to write a book. They’re already crazy busy and successful. It will be important to create margin time. To create the space, to create, in order to make it happen. (And enjoy the journey)

For years, my speaker clients have talked about the concept of balance and it always made me cringe.

Balance is for sissies.

There are 365 days in a year. Each day does not have to be a balance. Ask Einstein, Edison, Mother Theresa, or any Entrepreneur or professional athlete how balanced they feel.  Sometimes you just have to get things done one day, and live outside the lines.

We weren’t even created to be balanced. Even our physical bodies, are imbalanced. The human body is 90 percent water. God created it and it’s not a balance of fifty percent water and fifty percent blood. And don’t even get me started on your mind.  Your mind thinks crazy thoughts.  One day calm, and then in a moment a flash of unleashed anger or emotion.  People talk about balance like its the gold medal. Like its the thing to achieve.  But sometimes it’s good to be imbalanced. Like an athlete training for the Olympics who has to start training at 4 each day, eat protein drinks for a year, and sacrifice time with friends in order to win.

In order to make big things happen, you have to interrupt your pattern.


Make a list.

What are the 5 negative or distracting habits you have that subtract time, emotion, or energy from your life? Choose at least one, and eliminate it.

It’s not enough just to “start” your dream business on the side, or to “start” giving up a bad habit, addiction, or to “start” whatever it is you desire. You’ve got to “stop” doing something else at the same time. What is it you have to give up?

Start doing one thing and stop doing another.


New York Times Best Selling Author