I love you…. but.

You probably never want to hear those words.

But chances are, you might want to say them.

yes, we are talking about love again. It seems to be a common theme, in life, in my books, in the media. Love hurts. Love reigns. Love rules. The other day a guy friend said; “what is love anyways?”

He was frustrated, because the girl he loves does not love him. (yet)

Later in the week a gang member I had breakfast with told me “when people say love is in the air, I want to run and get a gas mask, cause I;ve been hurt by love.”

Then, the day after, a pastor friend I met with about his book, pointed to Gods love as all encompassing, selfless, the way we should be.

Interesting. Three different humans with 3 different perceptions of love.

At times, I’d say my definition has been a combination of all three. Questioning, wondering, wandering. But today, I want to be able to give my love. With a but.

I do know what Love isn’t. It’s not Jon and Kate, plus 8. It’s not Madonna and every other young supermodel, manservant, lustful abberation of love. It’s not passion, anger, or lust.

So I know what it isn’t, and as far as what it is … all I know is that you know it when you feel it.

And that love is so precious, and free, that you can give it away to a stranger, in a momentary

smile, a meal, an offering of a word. Love can change lives.


sometimes love just isn’t enough.

You can offer your love, but at times it won’t be reciprocated. Or perhaps it will, but not in the right way. You can give Gods love, but someone can choose not to receive it.

I have a friend who loves a man who has some habits that are detrimental to their

relationship. He can’t give them up. He’s addicted to them. But, she loves him.

I tell her to love, but be prepared to walk away.

So just because you feel it, doesnt mean you should make it a reality or a relationship. Just because I love you, doesn’t mean you are going to be part of my future.

Love doesn’t equate to stability, safety, and Godliness, all of the things that equal a sustainable life.


I love you… ¬† but.

as the gang member said. Love, is sometimes¬†a mirage. At times it’s something we create and mystify and blow up bigger than it is. Sometimes, love is just not enough. Unless it’s real, of God, or perhaps the love of a child.

Counterfit love?

well, that’s the type that leaves you confused and frustrated. The type that carries with it questions. The opposite of that is a God love, that would make you feel secure.

So friends, if you love someone, or think you do, pass it through the litmus test of reality. Your insides may be turning upside down, but if you don’t feel safe and secure, is it sustainable? It might not be easy, but it might be time to cut em loose, to focus on a more real definition of love.

Or, as my friend says, don the gas mask. Love is in the air.

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