Are you actively engaged in being mindful about living your dream? I’m surrounded with (and write books for) world changers, so chances are if you’re getting this message the answer is yes.
Stay with me here.
This is just a little reminder. A wake up call. If you watch one video the remainder of this year, it should be this one. This is about a world changer who reminds us to be mindful about life.
What dreams have you left on the table because subconsciously, you think or feel that it’s too late? What dreams have you walked away from because of pain, lack of money, or the belief that you don’t have the confidence or time or income to achieve them?
Yes, I’m talking to you.
Here are the 3 tips, to live your dream. I want to ignite you today! Please write me after you watch the video about this amazing man, even if we haven’t met or talked in years. I want to know if this impacted your beliefs even for one moment. If it inspired you in any way.
The message? It’s never too late. My friend Joel Small wrote a book called “Face to Face Leadership, that is a part of his incredible legacy and it’s no surprise that his mother is a great leader too. She started writing books and got her MBA and traveling the world in her 80s. Imagine if we could leave a legacy like that to inspire our own kids to leave theirs.
What if you could redirect every dead dream you’ve let go of? Some dreams are just a product of our imagination, and we might let go of them easily, but sometimes there’s a burning dream that we have not birthed because subconsciously we’ve given up.
Wow. Powerful world-changer.Three tips!
Step 1: Watch the video above and schedule it to watch once a month. Add it to your calendar to do. Watch a TED talk a week, while you’re at it. Minimum one talk. Be intentional about filling your mind with positive videos.
Step 2: Make your dream list. Leave nothing off!
Step 3: Take a step every day to think like Wang does by living your dream. Remember, he’s 80. With the body of a 35 year old and the healthy mindfulness of a successful man.
What is your game changer? What’s that one skill or philosophy or gifting that you do better than anyone else? Perhaps it’s strategy. If you’ve got strategic vision, you can coach, consult, and see things others can’t see. Or perhaps you’ve spent a lifetime training in one particular field of work to be excellent. Whether you’re a doctor, a poet, a strategist, an investor, or a consultant, you’ve got to sharpen your saw. Disciple, determination and practice.
What’s your game changing skill?
No matter how good you are, you’ve got to remember to do hard things.
The Olympic Games have shown us that you can be excellent at what you do but one inch can make the difference between victory or defeat in the discus throw many excellent competitors stepped outside of the start circle. There’s a rule: throw but don’t step out of the circle.
In the running competition it happened as well. There were false starts. The runner from the Bahamas had a false start and was disqualified. Imagine training your entire life for one thing – and then getting disqualified! Imagine if you’re the very best in your industry or field, and yet you lost clients because you forgot to pay attention to the details.
When I speak at corporations or coach Speaker’s, I like to help them focus on sharpening their own core skill through these three tools. Often we get so good we forget the basics.
I can’t bear the pain of a goodbye.
As you send your children off to school in this new season, perhaps you’re one of the ones who is ready, and happy, and content in the fact that the chaotic schedule of summer is over and you’re back in your routine. Or perhaps you have a child just entering kindergarten for the first time and you cannot bear to say goodbye. I’ve talked to both kinds of moms. One father told me that he pulled over on the side of the road after he dropped his child off at college for the first time, and he sobbed in his car for three hours.
This letter is for you, no matter who you are. In life there are moments when we have to say goodbye. You will handle it however you want, and you might even be judged, but it’s your life.
I have never been able to handle the pain of goodbye, so I just don’t say it. When it was time for my child to go off to kindergarten, I just could not even imagine saying goodbye. I know that my perspective was quite different than most people, considering how I grew up. I know that because of my father’s own choice, to not say goodbye, but to exit this world unexpectedly, that I value each and every coming and going as if it’s the very last time I might see you. I realize that’s not normal, but it’s me.
How well do you say goodbye?
I’ve often been told that I am cold almost in how I exited relationships. I think I just processed the goodbye longer and alone, silently grieving or crying inside, months before I ever exited.
I have had several major long-term relationships where I just left, after two years or five. If things weren’t working out I often ruminated on it for six or seven months. I grieved, even as I threw a surprise birthday party for the man I knew I was going to leave. Then one day we had a fight and I just left.
You can call it cowardly. Though I would suspect that most of you would not call the exit of Robin Williams cowardly.
When a fast exit occurs, we somehow say it’s OK if it’s crouched in a disease like depression. However, that exit is often planned, months or years in advance. The individual has thought about it long before they exit stage left. I don’t know about you but I’m not good at the pain of goodbye. If you ever had the pleasure of coming to dinner at my home, you would not hear me say goodbye when you crossed that threshold to leave. As you walked down the winding path in the moonlit night to your car, you might hear me call after you a few times, because people who have difficulty saying goodbye often prolong your exit. You will see us standing in the lit foyer, watching you. We will never just close the door.
As you look back, open your car door, and slip inside you might hear me saying something like, drive safely, or we had a wonderful time, but you will never ever hear me say goodbye.
It’s because I know how precious life is and I do not take one second for granted. I know that when you drive away it might be the last time I’ll see you or that you may not be as lucky as I was, the day the semi avoided rear ending me.
I don’t say goodbye because I can’t.
My father committed suicide when I was seven and he never said goodbye. Rumors are that he wrote a letter, but everyone in the family said it was misplaced and no one could find it. Of course we all had our own conspiracy theories about it. Mine is that the letter was just too difficult for anyone else to bear, and whoever found it threw it away or burned it in the fire.
Whatever the reason, his goodbye has impacted my life forever.
Yes, I am healed and blessed.
Yes, I am raising warriors.
No, I will never ever leave them without a goodbye.
We are all a product of our parent’s decisions, good and bad. It does not matter what choice you make for your own children, as long as it’s truly the best one for you and for them.
I never understood those moms that I overheard at target, saying, I just can’t wait for the kids to go back to school. I’m the kind of mom that literally has every day planned out for the next six years. I know that when my oldest goes off to college, I will have to let go in some form or fashion. I may not collect a goodbye. I may call it something else, but I will have to let him soar and become who he is meant to be. However, I’m the mom with the jellybean jar numbered in days, the one that wakes up thinking of this day as the most important day of my life. Because it could be our last. But if it’s not, it’s the first day of the rest of our lives.
As you send your child off to school, whether it’s kindergarten, or sixth grade, or high school or college, I want you to know that my heart is with you. If you’re one of the strong ones, who is glad to see them out the door and on the school bus headed to their classroom where they will learn and grow, you probably think I’m an alien and may not have gotten anything I’ve just said. I honestly pray to be someday a little bit more like you. A woman once told me that her children had all gone off to college and I said, oh my gosh, how are you dealing with that? She perked up and smiled and said fantastic! I love my life and my house is clean. No matter how hard I tried I could never wrap my brain around that. I went home that night, tripped over a toy car and a Nerf gun. Instead of picking it up I left those Nerf bullets all over the floor.
I am not saying my way is better, we are all a kaleidoscope of our own emotions and experiences. In fact, I’m sure I’ll be criticized for not being able to manage the distance between me and my kids as effective as other women. But luckily we all get to make our own choices.
This is a photo of my friend’s young son writing on his father’s casket. She woke up one day and her young husband didn’t. Life can change in an instant. What was important today may be lost tomorrow.
We have the freedom to choose how we want to raise our families.
But if you’re one of the ones who has a hard time with goodbyes, I know that there’s others like you. I am here for you. Treat each day like it is precious. Because it is.
I live in a shelter. But I’m beyond joyful, I just bought a new car, and I’m getting back on my feet. Last week I ran the Chupacabra 5k race with Tammy and her family. Finishing the race felt amazing, after running like a child through the woods in total darkness, with nothing but headlamps and fireflies lighting the way. It was an adventure.
When I first met Tammy, it was in a parking lot outside the homeless shelter. I was standing with several shady characters. Tammy turned and looked at me directly in the eye.
“You don’t belong here!” She said. And those words struck me like an arrow in the heart.
I had heard about Tammy from the homeless people on the street and in the shelter. They said she helped people get back on their feet, by coaching them to write, and heal their struggles.
I don’t belong here.
Those words remained embedded in my heart.
At the time my friends weren’t really friends at all. But we tend to make compromises when we are in a time of desperation, and we settle for less than we should. How about you? Is it time to do a house cleaning? What are the things, people, or places in your life that you’re still allowing in, when they don’t belong there?
Tammy undoubtably saw what I had lost sight of in myself. At the time I was homeless, and running from years of drug use, in and out of difficult homeless situations for nearly 15 years. How did she see that there was more inside, without even knowing me?
My past was so devastating that any attempt at overcoming was only seen by a few close family and friends, but then dashed, as one blind attempt after another would lead to relapse. I knew in my heart that God did not choose this life for me. Encouragement was something that I needed and no longer had. Tammy also encouraged me to write.
So I began writing my first book, Overcoming Any Addiction. See, no matter who you are, whether you’re addicted to shopping, or eating, or drinking, or relationships, or whatever – addiction creates a stronghold. It covers things up. And you’re running from anything that’s hard to face.
Tammy’s words “You don’t belong here” ….penetrated an invisible wall I had built as a defense against those who would judge me by my troublesome past. These words revealed themselves as confirmation from God, but from the mouth of saint.
Life changing words. Words can change lives. They save lives or destroy a life. That Sunday at the homeless shelter, during a time when I was hustling for food, and fighting frustration, someone stepped in. What are you running from?
I had a Book Client with the Central Intelligence Agency ask me the question, “Why did you become a writer?”
I have answered that question a million times in television and radio interviews but also with various clients.
At the end of the day, I said, “I never chose writing, writing chose me. It’s my passion but it’s also my calling.”
When I answered the question with the CIA client, I realized that I had become a writer because of a tragedy. Like many great writers, my first book began with a tragic lesson in my life.
“It was a little boy,” I said.
I was standing in the jungle, in Colombia, after an airplane crash and there was a little boy staring at me. His pain was evident. We lost hundreds on that plane and the grief stricken family members were waiting for us to deliver positive news. News that we had found their loved ones alive and safe. In the end we had located just 4 survivors and a dog, Milagro, in a tree.
I was without words.
After a decade of training in crisis management, psychology, and sales, I had no words for this boy. Hundreds of lives were lost on that airplane and we had only found 4 survivors.
We set up a makeshift morgue in the middle of the jungle and there was a lot of danger. Things that I cannot talk about. But I wrote a book, left most of it out, and healed my heart in the process. Writing is a great way to process pain.
When I relayed this to the former CIA agent of course they knew exactly what I was talking about.
They understood. “There’s no psychologist in the CIA to debrief you when you leave.”
Today I realize that this little boy I once met in the jungle has grown to be a man. Has his sadness and loss turned to anger? Or has he gone on to become someone dedicated to changing lives?