A formerly homeless friend of mine stood in my kitchen chatting about addiction in America. Shopping, eating, clothes, renovating, drugs, alcohol, sports, watching television, and…not to mention pharmaceuticals. We’ve got a drug for everything. We decided to co-author this post together. He’s an amazing writer, who has seen it all.

I met Aaron on the streets of Dallas, where he’d gone for food, and I’d gone to serve food to 400 homeless men and women. I learned he was a writer, and we became fast friends. He’s an intellect, with several books in the pipeline, and a lot of life experience.

We’ve written together, we’ve had many dinners together, and now he’s my brother. He’s a success story. He’s off the street, thriving, with property and a new truck in Arkansas. He’s still the same person I met on that parking lot, only he’s got a new perspective. He’s been surrounded by addiction, in the shelters, where homeless go to counselors to get state distributed drugs, and in his past life where he was a gambling addict who earned thousands in one poker game. We agreed that even in the wealthiest mansions, addiction exists. Aaron said it best. “We all want to feel good. But addiction is simply filling that empty space with everything but God.”

The answer? It’s not simple. My friend, the director of a drug treatment program, can tell you that. My homeless guys who enroll in and then leave, addiction programs, can testify to that. Nothings easy. But it all starts in the mind. A lot of addiction is about contentment. and maybe boundaries.
Take baby steps, reach out. Do it all over again. And I’m not just talking about drugs here. I know some people who are addicted to Facebook and blogging and it takes just as much away from their loved ones as anything else would. Might sound extreme, but three hours a night disconnected or unplugged from the people in your own house, sounds like an addiction to me. Albeit, not along the lines of heroin or meth.

What are we focused on? Whatever that is, will grow, and flourish.

It’s interesting being a creative type in the success Industry. I love music, campfires, abstract art, snowboarding, and books. I’m a get out there and do it person, but I also love to sit and think.
In my business I feel like a person with two distinct yet opposing lives. One, the artsy journalist who wants to scale jungle mountains, or interview the homeless who sleep under bridges. That half of me is the person happy alone, writing a great book. The other half is the me that sits in business meetings, coaching speakers and entrepreneurs through the dynamics of publishing, building a brand, and writing books. These people either are rich already, want to be, or want to teach you how to be.

Writing about how to get rich is interesting, because it forces you to spend a lot of time thinking about what rich really means.
And the good news is that no one talks about attraction or manifestation anymore. No, these guys are writing about legacy, authenticity, and doing the hard things.

Ryan Chamberlin recently quoted Darren Hardy about the Compound Effect of doing several small things well, over and over. Versus doing a million things to get ahead. Tony Jeary and I brainstormed about what it means to be a 1 per center – and both agreed that its about living strong in your faith, family, and finances. His book Success Acceleration gives you the principles to go where you want to, faster than ever before. Gary Smalley, an amazing man with a large legacy, has been a relationship expert for decades, and really practices the concepts he’s written and talked about. He lives a rich life. And he helps others to as well. The point?

Think about what rich means to you. Focus on that, and Eliminate anything that takes away from it.

Abundance always brings more to your life. But it also takes away time from your life. More friends, more money, more houses to manage, more work opportunities. It all takes time. So be discretionary. Choose well.

Prov 4 says guard your heart. I love that, because instead of attracting more, networking more, and connecting more, we can think about being strategic. What is it you need to guard?

I was flattered to be recently named “One of Americas most influential writers, not because of how many but because of WHO she reaches. Tammy has the ear of the Executive reader.”
Although Seth Godin or my other favorite bloggers might not agree,
It was a nice quote, and reminded me to narrow my focus even more in 2011. I want to help others have rich lives. And that means staying strong.

One of the most frequent questions I get is how do I write a book? And then after that, how do I promote it?

Here’s a question I got on my blog recently:
“Would you have any suggestions for how I can get more exposure for my book?”

There’s no easy answer to that, except to do whatever you can to market to as many people as possible. Social media is a great buzzword, but what does it really mean? Facebook Twitter, plaxo,
linked in and anything on the net are all ways to get the word out.

You have to take responsibility for your own marketing…
Don’t rely on a publisher, because they’re relying on you. Books sell because authors sell them!

How can you sell yourself and your book?

1- become an expert
Whatever it is you like to do, blog about. Write articles. Write ezines, do radio interviews. Get a niche and become an expert.

2- cross-pollinate.
Do all you can to associate with different groups.
Get out of your comfort zone into a lot of different groups of people,
in many mediums.

3- write, market and publish your book.

Books are the new brochure.
Use your book to get speaking engagements, send to CEOs, and get your legacy and wisdom to the world…

I’m in the business of helping people write a book.Often times this means shaping their words to fit a mass market, bringing their product to a literary agent, or building a brand.

Are you interested in writing your legacy?

The first step, is to WRITE.

This is advice a world famous writer gave me years ago. He said: writers write.

And thats the advice I give people today,
Start a journal.
Write your story.

Many memoirs have been sold for millions of dollaRs and they’re just stories of peoples lives.

What is your story.?

My best coaching advice is to guide you to catalogue the best stories, and emotions about your life today.

Are you working to keep the things you’ve been blessed with?

Invest.

Invest in what you want to keep. Invest, and watch it grow.

When you don’t, you’ll see the outcome of neglect, like a garden choked by weeds. Just a reminder. If you love someone, invest in them. If you have something worth keeping, invest time, thought, emotion. This applies to every area of your life.

There are two forces warring against your soul. Is it any wonder that life here on earth is not for the faint of heart? At times it’s a battle. Survival of the fittest.

In Epic, John Elderidge writes “Life doesn’t come to us like a math problem. It comes to us the way that a story does, scene by scene. You wake up. What will happen next? You don’t get to know-you have to enter in, take the journey as it comes. The sun might be shining. There might be a tornado outside. Your friends might call and invite you to go sailing. You might lose your job. Life unfolds like a drama.”

One thing I know for sure on my own journey through this life, is that there are things we can’t see, and things we cannot explain. You’ll be put into situations you strive to understand, but sometimes there’s no understanding at all.

A friend came to me perpelexed about a relationship and why it didn’t work out. She lived in one state, he in the other. He’d said many things to her over the course of their 8 months together, including that he loved her. Yet she was conflicted about moving forward, and continually confused. He said that he wanted to move to her city to experience life with her day to day, yet he’d also said many conflicting statements. She ran through the list of them and asked me what she should do. “We’ve never been exclusive, right?” he’d said after 8 months of her, investing in him. and, “I’m not sure I want someone else’s kids” (she has them), and “I’ve got to focus on the person here right in front of me, and, “I may move out of the country in two years,” and ‘If you love someone, let them go,” and finally, the one she understood the least; ‘I don’t want to hurt you.”

“How does all of that make you feel?” I asked.

“I know that he loves me. 100 percent. When we are together it’s the best feeling in the world. But, I end up confused. He hasn’t introduced me to any of his friends. And, we don’t see each other on weekends even. His actions don’t match his words. and, there are times when his words don’t even match his words!”

She had wanted to explore a life with this man. Was considering a major, life change to be with him. He’d recently asked her; “what’s preventing us from exploring a future together?” In the same conversation they had talked seriously about relocating their lives to the same city, and yet once again he took a step back. “Well, if I move somewhere else instead, I hope you don’t think it’s a bad sign for us.”

She was at a crossroads, seeking an answer.

I told her that in the end, life is really very simple. Life is a story, and there are invisible forces warring against your soul at all times, so we must first seek the Kingdom of God, for answers, instead of trying to figure it all out on our own. Sometimes, there are no answers visible to the naked eye.  Yet we humans continue to try to understand what cannot be understood. If you are confused and lack peace, just stop. Take a deep breath. Maybe turn the car around and take a different road.

And, as a writer let me remind you, that every scene, every story, has a beginning, a  middle, and an end. Sometimes we drag the end out too long. Have you ever seen a movie like that? And sometimes we end things before they’re supposed to. Still at other times, we’re that character in the story that messes up the outcome.

Try, but be prepared to let go of that which confuses you. The simplicity, is the fruit.  yes is yes. no is no.

What’s the fruit of your story? If a scene is confusing, and you repeat that same scene and it’s still confusing, you have to wonder who the author of that story is. The fruit of a good and healthy tree, is tasty, lovely, and light.